it's not that bad

by Ghoul for a Goblin

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released January 31, 2013



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Ghoul for a Goblin Chicago, Illinois

sometimes sjr likes to make music. often times he doesn't.

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Track Name: Joanie Got Her Groove Back
do you realize your getting down is getting me down? do you realize it's getting around? my immune system's low. depression's a contagious one. how far down will we go and will you be afraid to run away from it all: everything that's hurting you? don't fear the fall. i won't be deserting you. keep your head up, kid. i know death is but a joke to you. all good jokes come to an end, something yours never seem to do. flailing just to find resolve or flailing for the sake of motion? my immune system's low, and heartache's a contagious one. how far down did you go, and should i be afraid to know? god, how i fear the fall and everything that's killing me. i'm losing it all. getting harder and harder just to breathe. do you realize your getting around is bringing me down? brought you back up to your feet for benefits i'll never reap. oh i wish i weren't so jaded but me and you, we could've made it. flailing just in place this time. sit back down. it's time to drive you home.
Track Name: Joanie Got A New Boyfriend
i wish you would've moved to michigan, at the centerfold of all of the great lakes so if the land ever collapses there'll be no good way to escape. spring is here; i think i miss her. you're moving on again; i'm stuck here in the winter. and fall was two seasons ago. i wish that wedding would've been the death of us. the irony wouldn't be lost on me. empty flasks under white table cloth. they've got the handcuffs but who has got the key. i should've known it when you said you'd never find love like that, "so don't even waste your time." i begged and pleaded that you'd just let loose and you sat in the corner while we danced the conga line. i wish i would've skipped halloween that year; it's such a pagan holiday. underage kids boozing in a garage isn't my cup of tea anyway. another excuse just to hide all our faces. i should've known it when you spilled your drink on me. i said, "that's cute, in a pathetic sort of way." i should've got up, walked away, and left things be. joanie's got a new boyfriend and i'm hanging in the basement. to say the last year's been a waste is an understatement.
Track Name: Living In The Past
all the bad dreams i've been so grateful to wake up from: i'd live them all if i could just erase the last twenty-four hours. switch reality, though it might eat at me: the knowledge that i'm avoiding choosing that which truth brings. taking the path of the coward. everyone's got someone they used to care about much more. we're all living in the past. i'd like to wipe clean everything: memories that my mind would store. but i'd be a victim of deja vu every time i see your lovely face. you're so cute when you're smiling, though i know that you're lying; a surefire sign that i'm losing what you gave to me because it was never mine to take.
Track Name: D-Movies...
sometimes i'll pretend to be scared of the dark just to hold you close and know where you are. it's thursday. it's movie night and things aren't the same until you turn out the lights. if i could i swear i'd watch every bad movie that you wanted. so i'll quit the job that i don't have, show up late to all my classes, and shortchange all of my friends, hoping this movie just doesn't end. watching chick flicks isn't really the battle; it's watching movies with "chick" in the title and forcing out an occasional laugh. to be quite honest, it's not that bad. it just gets a bit annoying the way you treat the movies like your ipod: stuck on repeat. please don't roll the credits. someone just hit the lights, but please don't roll the credits.
Track Name: I Am The Only One Who Can Get Over You
my mom says there's other fish in the sea as she cooks up a salmon for dinner. i guess you could call this irony but i'm not a very good swimmer. heads up, here comes another lecture about the lofty world population and how summer's right around the corner and "we'll spend lots of time on vacation." well i love you mom, i swear you're the best, but i wish you didn't think i was always depressed. i know i spends lots of time in bed but i'm just catching up on some rest. there's a piece about singles in their forties on the news. there's an article with dating tips up today on yahoo. relationship statuses keep changing on my facebook feed. the world thinks i've got this deep-seated sadness that i refuse to concede. but i am the only one who can get over you. bill's trying but mostly stands there aloof. ray tells me "she's not good enough for you;" yeah they all do. thom says, "she'll come crawling back sometime soon." james says, "i'm sure you'll find somebody new;" oh, i'm sure it's true. i stand there quietly nodding my skull; it feels weightless like i'm nothing at all. i'm feeling numb, but not the bad kind, moreso content because there's nothing on my mind. for the first time in a long time, i can say that i am feeling fine. i am the only one who can get over you.
Track Name: ...Is Dead
this will be the highlight of your life: walk around this neighborhood until sunlight. hear these words and know that i was right, but don't worry, you can do it again tomorrow night. at first glance you might think i've gotten full of myself all of a sudden but just look back and you'll see this was a long time coming. pent-up frustration. chock-full of hesitation. the collective rut where we sat. one-sided conversations. social limitation. i am through with that. i'd rather write songs a few friends will hear than words no one will ever read. bask in the silence of emptiness after weeks of crafting your so-called masterpiece.